Words have tremendous power!
Have you ever considered how much you can make a person insecure about literally everything?
Choices, personal fulfilment, their desires, their hobbies, to defend their position, victories, desires, a better career or the most banal, meeting a girl!
All of this can be suppressed with just 2 phrases:
- You don't need it!
- Don't do it!
As a child, I actively explored the world around me. And like all children, I had a lot of desires.
Standing in a shop and asking to buy you a Kinder, attracting the attention of parents, but instead of a positive result, you hear - you don't need it!
You climb a tree to pick an apricot - don't do it!
You fight with boys like you, don't do it!
You want to go on a bet, don't do it!
I think the parallel is clear, it all led to doubt.
Doubt breeds fear. Fear turns to inaction and leads to a weak position in everything. Fear restrains, you do not know how to behave in this or that situation, because it's scary, and in addition doubts - a vicious circle! From personal experience, such a person is easy to manage, such a dummy.
I'm 7 years old, my mates and I fight like boys! Well, that's how it happens in men, that's how Alpha is defined in childhood.
I kicked my mate Vanya's arse, yeah, a bit in the eye! It's a normal kid thing, we didn't even whinge about it. Then we went home, it was late in the evening, there was a knock at the door - Vanya's mum came to argue with my parents about my son's bruise.
Then they had a talk with me about not doing that!
You can't hit anyone - the attitude is right, but the implementation is shit.
What's it gonna be?
Let's fast-forward a bit to when, through physical punishment and words, the attitude became entrenched in my head.
I was being picked on by other kids, not my friends. I realise I could always punch them in the eye, they'd get off quickly. But in my head I was already afraid that I would be punished! Humble and without resistance they put me on the ground and kicked me, teased and insulted me. And I was afraid to answer, I was afraid that I would be punished at home, I was strictly told not to fight!
The absence of my resistance created in me a fear of answering to the offender, I begin to fear him, I begin to doubt myself. In such a situation I feel weak, more than that!
- You're weak! - They shout to me, and I start to believe it. As a result, I get beaten up!
Where did it lead?
I became convinced of my own weakness, and then it resulted in 7 long years of bullying by peers and not only.
As you realise, this is far from an isolated case, when this phrase sounds as an attitude to any person, engaging in gradual castration regardless of gender.
It will affect so many things in any person's life.
Going to the start of a sprint - what if I don't win?
Seeing a beautiful girl - what if she says no?
Going to a job interview - what if I fail?
Learning how to live, what if I fail?
From this equation will always take away the mitigation from our psyche, which has internalised the state of doubt as one of the basic parts of your personality, in the form of "what if".
What's left after that?
That's right - fail, fail, fail, fail, fail.
This is how opportunities will flow out of life, all its brightest moments, victories, success. In fact, everything you strive to achieve!
Always try to think about what meanings you put in your environment or yourself. Personally, I want to see my child confident, able to stand up for his position and beliefs, who will not be afraid to live this life.
Or don't you want that?!
0 Comments