Is it easy for you to experience separation or parting from people?
It is not easy for me, only for people I consider close. With others I say goodbye in the moment, most often I don't even remember names.
Parting with people dear to me has always been difficult.
There are scrappy memories associated with it.
I'm 3-4 years old, my parents weren't together at the time. And they used to pass me to each other for monthly periods.
You can understand them, they didn't know how to build a family otherwise, and their generation was far from understanding psychology and all the subtleties that are available to us now.
Where is the separation here?
My parents handed me over to each other for a month, and I feel and see that.
I am a child who wants to see mom and dad around, here comes the "Exchange Day", I see my parents together, I am very happy, glad they are together, I calm down, my psyche relaxes. Then I started to play, not distracted by anything extraneous, otherwise my attention was diverted, and when an hour, an hour and a half passed. I saw only my father.
My chest squeezed with choking, tears and panic!
-Where is mom?
I sink into grief, a month passes, and in that time I manage to adapt, even get used to my mom's absence.
Exchange Day!
Again I see my parents, joy, calm, hope! And again the distraction: daddy is gone!
- Where's Daddy? The whole trauma repeats itself.
Exchange Day!
Joy, calm, hope!
-Where's mom? The trauma! I'm used to her!
Exchange Day!
This time I saw my father leaving, I ran to the wicket, I saw that he was already far away, I started running after him, shouting after him:
"Dad, don't go!" - but he was gone. I run after him, but he's getting farther and farther away, and the trauma is so deep. That now any parting with a person close to me, relationship or friendship - is reflected on me a strong traumatic state.
Yes, friends, I am having a very hard time getting over a breakup!
I used to blame myself for them leaving me.
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